Firestarter review: Another clumsy, dispiriting notch in Stephen King’s belt

Zac Efron isn’t Terrible in Peacock’s adaptation of Stephen King’s 1980 novel FirestarterHe is annoying, however. Every once in a while, while watching it, the thought appears unbidden, as if it was placed by one of the film’s psychic protagonists: Ah, Zac is there.Like the 1984 movie version. Firestarter — widely acknowledged as one of the worst King adaptations — the cast and crew of the 2022 FirestarterFeatures names that appear too well-known for this particular project. Where the new version actually surpasses the ’84 movie is that in this case, at least a couple of those names deliver.

Efron is pictured with Sydney LemmonHelstromFear the Walking DeadRyan Kiera Armstrong (Anne with an E Black WidowAndy McGee is the patriarch of a small family with psychic abilities that can cause destruction. This ability was sought by the DSI, a CIA-esque agency. Andy can psychically “push” people into doing things, a skill he’s using to cure nicotine addictions for cash in an early scene. Vicky Lemmon refuses any use of her undefined abilities. Charlie Armstrong, Charlie’s young daughter, views her pyrokinetic abilities as a mental disorder. He uses self-soothing and breathing techniques to stop them from getting out of control.

King’s novel and the 1984 film both start in medias resAfter DSI agents had finally tracked down the McGees and forced Charlie and Andy to flee, the 2022 was a great year. The 2022 Firestarter backs up to the moment where Charlie’s powers begin to reemerge so Scott Teems’ embarrassing screenplay can explain some things. Teems also wrote 2021’s disappointing Halloween killsAnd FirestarterSimilar problems exist with convoluted themes and crude exposition. Similar. Halloween is Dead this film apparently can’t decide whether murder is bad.) The 2022 Firestarter’s dialogue is laughably insipid, a real baloney sandwich on white bread that only the most skilled members of the film’s cast — namely, Kurtwood Smith in a small role as a regretful government researcher and Michael Greyeyes as superpowered DSI assassin Rainbird — can make sound halfway decent.

The highlight is Greyeyes. He’s good in everything, to be fair, and this movie really doesn’t deserve him. (The fact that this time around, Rainbird, a Cherokee character, is actually played by a Native actor rather than George C. Scott in brownface, is one point in the remake’s column.) Greyeyes’ Rainbird, who is walking around with great purpose and tossing objects about the room with his brain makes him an antihero. And once Charlie (though maybe not the script) fully grasps the puberty metaphor and turns her blossoming powers into a coming-of-age moment, she’s a hoot as well.

That can’t be said for the rest of the cast, who are plopped onto the proverbial iceberg and pushed out to sea in those moments where they have to deliver more than one line of dialogue at a time. Generally, The 2022 FirestarterWhen no one else is talking, it is quite acceptable. Professionally executed and dramatic, both the fire and practical telekinetic effects can be seen. Even though the movie’s beginning is filled with baffling color grade, Keith Thomas manages to show some flair in the final pyromaniacal confrontation. (That being said, it’s underwhelming compared to the cocaine-decade excess of the 1984 film’s ending. One for the original.

Photo by Universal Pictures

John Carpenter, Cody Carpenter (his son/bandmate) composed the score to the new film. Firestarter, a reflection of Carpenter’s willingness to work on movies as long as he can just do the fun parts, then back to watching basketball. Blumhouse also shared a number of the behind-the-scenes staff with The Rebooted. Halloween franchise, further explaining the Carpenters’ presence on the project.) No one is able to create a catchy, yet uncanny synth melody like the man. Much as with Greyeyes, this movie probably doesn’t deserve John Carpenter is not involved, but the benefit does accrue to him.

Firestarter predates the 2010s wave of “elevated” superhero movies — in fact, the S-word doesn’t appear in the ’84 version at all. Unfortunately, the S-word is used in this film, but it’s not often. To be precise, none of these statements are true. FirestarterFilms are on the same level with movies like Quick Color Or Midnight Special,Both share some elements with the horror-ish paranoid scifi thriller. But sometimes in the world of remakes and Stephen King adaptations — and especially when the two overlap — “quality” can become awfully relative. Firestarter 2022 is a marginal improvement on the ’84 original, if only because it has a handful of redeeming qualities rather than virtually none at all.

FirestarterIt is currently playing in theatres Peacock streaming.