You can have clown sex in Baldur’s Gate 3… if you dare

Baldur’s Gate 3’s companions actually make the sport. They every have an enchanting backstory, distinct character, and naturally, a wonderful (or extraordinarily sexy) romance arc. Work arduous sufficient to earn a companion’s belief, and you may share a heartfelt trade and a wonderful evening of intimacy. Simply watch out for what gadgets you could have outfitted when that occurs… as a result of they simply may present up.

[Ed. note: The rest of the story contains spoilers for the Shadowheart romance arc, and the very beginning of Act 3.]

We had simply entered Rivington, and naturally we went proper into the Circus of Final Days. The entire crew was there: My Druid character together with Astarion, plus my companion roleplaying a Monk named Dex and his girlfriend Shadowheart. We weren’t about to move up some full of life leisure, or the prospect to homicide a clown named Dribbles. We made full of life dialog with Akabi — who fortunately didn’t flip us right into a wheel of cheese — and with Zara the Mummy.

Sadly, my companion made one dire miscalculation. He took up Zara on her supply of face paint for Shadowheart, his beau and our celebration’s major healer. What he didn’t know was that it will be clown paint, and that it couldn’t be eliminated till an extended relaxation. What he additionally didn’t know was what would await him.

Off to an extended relaxation we went, able to wipe the clown paint off Shadowheart’s stunning mug. However she had some issues she wished to inform Dex first, and a few issues she wished to do with him.

Picture: Larian Studios by way of Polygon

Reader, my companion is afraid of clowns.

Clearly, I used to be watching the entire thing (kinky) and helped my companion make smart dialogue selections whereas he hyperventilated. We had been on this collectively.

Shadowheart took Dex to a superbly secluded spot, a shoreline the place waves gently lapped the seashore. She bared her soul — and her boobs — to him, shedding clothes whereas prodding him into being extra adventurous. They went skinnydipping. The layers of goth, Sharan girlfriend peeled away to disclose a extra delicate but daring facet; the true Shadowheart, the one which Dex had labored so arduous to earn the belief of.

She had clown face paint on the entire time.

Picture: Larian Studios by way of Polygon

The 2 wandered ashore, and Shadowheart shared her most intimate ideas with Dex, saying “Thanks. I wanted that. I wanted to know I can face issues with out Shar.”

The touching second culminated right into a touching second. The digital camera panned as much as give Shadowheart and Dex a little bit of privateness, in traditional rom-com style. The morning rolled on, and our characters awoke on their bedrolls, spells and standing results reset, able to face the day. The deed had been executed. The lengthy relaxation ended, and Shadowheart’s face was refreshed to its authentic state.

“it was horrible. i hated it,” my companion instructed Polygon by way of WhatsApp, when reached for remark. “i hate to be traumatized by my goth digital girlfriend.”

And hey, if you happen to love clowns, then take this as a PSA — you may completely fuck your companion whereas sporting (or whereas they put on) clown face paint. You may even do it whereas Dribbles the clown’s bloody torso is at the moment in your stock. It’s 2023 and there will likely be no kink shaming.