Xbox Game Pass offers so-bad-it’s-good classic Dante’s Inferno

Movies achieve the “so bad it’s good” moniker all the time; the proof of that is in cult classics like The Room, Xanadu, Super Mario Bros., MacFind out More About Me, Hands of Fate – Manos… and so on. It’s fun to rib on a goofy movie with friends, maybe while inebriated, if that’s your thing, since watching a movie is usually a more passive activity. On the other hand, video games require skill and input. Often, bad designs and unfair difficulties are what give bad videos their reputation. The frustration of playing a bad game makes it hard for any of them to qualify as “so bad it’s good.” And yet, I have found the perfect contender for that description, and it’s even on Xbox Game Pass. It’s a 2010 third-person action game by Visceral Games called Dante’s Inferno, based on Dante Alighieri’s epic poem, according to the loosest possible interpretation of the words “based on.”

My main recommendation? Dante’s InfernoThe best thing about the story and its setting is that combat feels good even years later. The scythe-swinging hero, religious themes and scythe-swinging protagonist make this a perfect God of War copy. Its combat designer Vincent Napoli left Visceral Games to create God of War games at Sony Santa Monica in 2010. This game even makes me feel like I’m playing God of War. In fact, stringing together combos as Dante feels more satisfying and fluid to me than even the modern-day God of War reboots — which is why I’m almost sad that this game never got a sequel. Instead, it’s gone down in history as the black sheep creation of Visceral Games, the studio better known for the Dead Space franchise.

It’s probably for the best that this game never got a sequel, because the plot is completely unhinged. I mean, I get that the premise of hell’s various circles seems tailor-made for video game levels (HadesDid something very similar and it worked well.

Image via Polygon: Visceral games/Electronic Arts

However Dante’s Inferno takes some extreme liberties with its source material, which are significantly funnier if you’re familiar with the original poem. If you haven’t read it, here’s the gist: The Divine Comedy is about Alighieri’s self-insert character (who’s named Dante) going on a guided tour through hell, purgatory, and heaven. He is asked why he was allowed to take this tour. It’s not really important; the setting is just an excuse for the writer to make social commentary about various contemporary political and religious figures. He also gets to wax poetic about a crush he has on a dead idealized woman named Beatrice (she shows up for the heaven tour), and he hangs out with the ancient Roman poet Virgil, who serves as tour guide for Inferno and Purgatorio (but can’t go to heaven because he’s a pagan).

There are many changes made to the plot by this video game. The protagonist is still named Dante, but now he’s a mega-muscular Templar knight fresh off fighting in the Crusades. Beatrice is still dead, but in this universe, she was Dante’s wife — and she didn’t get to go to heaven. Instead, she’s in hell, all because she made a deal with the devil (something you’re generally not supposed to do). Before the events of Dante’s Inferno, Beatrice agreed to a bet with Lucifer that Dante wouldn’t cheat on her while he was away fighting. Dante cheated upon her with an enemy soldier, and a captive Muslim woman. She offered her services to Dante for her husband’s life. That husband tracks down Beatrice and stabs her in the back, which sounds like a bad day for Beatrice until you remember she already made a bet with Lucifer that her husband definitely wouldn’t cheat on her. Virgil is also in the game, and he’s exactly the same.

This is not only hilarious, these drastic changes to the iconic poem are also quite funny. Dante’s InfernoThis is only the beginning.

Image via Polygon: Visceral games/Electronic Arts

Image via Polygon: Visceral games/Electronic Arts

Image via Polygon: Visceral games/Electronic Arts

Image via Polygon: Visceral games/Electronic Arts

Dante’s afterlife version isn’t content with making pithy observations. He carries a scythe to tear apart the bodies of the demons, and the damned. “The damned” includes numerous knife-wielding babies, who I guess are there because of original sin? The “Gluttony” level involves inhumane depictions of fat people, who are depicted as inherently evil (they should have known better than to inherit the genetic proclivity toward carrying more weight), and the “Lust” level is stuffed with genital-inspired architecture and naked lady demons whose attacks are not sexual so much as just unsettling. Speaking of unsettling: There’s a boss fight against a towering, naked Cleopatra, whose nipples open up like mouths with wagging tongues inside. Just in case you weren’t excited to see boobs. Cleopatra’s boobs are going to make you feel bad for ever feeling excited about boobs in the first place.

Dante meets many other people in hell whom he can pardon or send to heaven. It’s not clear why Dante has this ability, nor why the absolution of these lost souls involves a rhythm-based minigame where circle-shaped “sins” fly toward a cross at the center of the screen. It’s a horrible game. It was painful, but I did it anyway to pardon Tiresias for his gender variation.

Image via Polygon: Visceral games/Electronic Arts

It is pretty close to being an equal-opportunity offenders. The game portrays the white straight male protagonist as an utter jerk for his cheating and participation in Crusades, which the game describes as unjust and unethical. Beatrice manages to be both virtuous damsel in distress and Satan’s consort, and in the latter role, it’s an open question as to whether she’s kinda enjoying it. If I were to choose one player in this game, it would likely be Virgil. That dude just oozes vibing.

I downloaded Dante’s Inferno After years of wondering about what might happen to a game that was based on Xbox Game Pass, I decided to laugh at Xbox Game Pass. The Divine Comedy. I didn’t expect to spend the entire game having a great time with the combat, as well as laughing out loud at the complete absurdity of its super-edgy 2010 video game machismo. It’s a glimpse into a different time — one that I’m glad video games have left behind, not least because I never want to see a tongue come out of a massive nipple again. If you can manage not to throw up, then you’ll laugh — and you’ll even learn some history. This is history of what the B-games in the early aughts looked like. There is no history at all about it. The Divine Comedy.