Top 5 Video Game Characters That Would Make Thanksgiving Awkward

Thanksgiving is a terrible holiday. Thanksgiving is the only time you get to see family members that you have spent the 364 other days avoiding. The cousin who’s a part of meme stocks and NFTs. Listens to his uncle Joe Rogan ExperienceIt somehow manages to be referenced at every turn. All of it is exhausting. 

This is just the beginning of how awful turkey can be. Turkey is the Bunny Bread for meats. The turkey is bland, dry and disgusting. Turkey is the cherry on this crap pie. Thanksgiving is problematic because of many factors. What is the point of making a boring, unattractive bird the mainstay of an entire year-long tradition? I don’t even want to mention the strange things that are under turkey’s chins. It is unfathomable to me that these animals are being eaten. 

I skip Thanksgiving with my family. I am a better son, brother, or family member than it is, but it also makes me mentally healthier. The awkward conversations that Thanksgiving brings out of people are too much for me. AJ, no, I don’t want to hear about your opinions on Bored Ape Yacht Club. It is a terrible investment. Mitch! I don’t need to see this Joe Rogan video interviewing Dave Chappelle. Literally, Why? does Jacob have a gun on him? For the event that pumpkin pie does something strange?

How does all this relate to video games? Not a lot. However, we are on holiday this week so need to add content. So here’s my list of five videos game characters who would be awkward for Thanksgiving.

5: The Minit-sized person (not certain if they are named)

One thing that you can agree on about Thanksgiving is its length. You have to show up, be attentive and communicate with your family. Imagine if one of your family members died every 60 seconds and you had to restart the day.

I don’t know much about Minit – I’ve never actually played the game – but thanks to its WikipediaPage, I understand that you only play one minute at time. You die after that time and you can start again. 

It would be the worst way to commemorate Thanksgiving. Everyone else is going through the same thing, but Mike Minit (or Mike as we will call him) keeps restarting every 60 seconds. He enters, greets the family and grabs a plate. After looking at the stuffing, he then falls asleep. He returns to the door and repeats the entire process a few moments later. 

It sounds annoying. It was too much for me. 

4. Heartman From Death Stranding

This guy, you know, would do worse than Mike, but we won’t stop there! Heartman dies every 21 minutes. After he stops breathing, Heartman goes to the Beach and searches for his wife, before he returns three minutes later. That’s not quite as bad as Mr. Minit – but Heartman spends 21 minutes on this mortal coil constantly pontificating and over-explaining the science of the natural world. You can’t even get one word in edgewise with him, my God. 

This is me, trying to get a second plate of dinner rolls. And this guy tells me all about extermination entities. You need to shut up. Heartman, the only thing I will lose is my patience. 

3: Mara, Shin Megami Tensei & Persona Series  

The picture is enough to look at; you don’t have to write anything. 

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… Actually, while we’re on the subject of the Persona and Shin Megami Tensei series, those games are chock-full of gross (and confusingly sexy) creatures you shouldn’t invite to your Thanksgiving get-togethers. Take a look at the above!

Persona, Shin Megami Tensei, a show about high school children, is filled with characters that look like or display the down-south features of their friends. This is quite fitting considering the thoughts of most high schoolers. 

However, it is against the law to invite these people to Thanksgiving dinner. If I have ever seen such a thing, it’s an inexcusable offense. What good will you do to ever walk in with Arioch (second left from the right)? You’re just too hot! You expect me to be able to eat mashed potatoes when Master Therion (far right) is across the table from me with all That Are you still here? It’s not clear if I could manage dinner without being distracted and confused. Best case scenario, I would need to rest and fan myself off. 

Heck, if one of my family members brought any one of these creatures over to dinner, you best believe I’d be more than happy to talk to AJ, Mitch, and Jacob. Maybe all three of them at once!  

2: Trubbish from Pokémon

Hey, Pokémon fans, explain this one to me. Trubbish is Literally Just a garbage bag with some googly eye stickers on the front. The Pokémon Company is a multi-billion dollar company and this is what the brain geniuses over there are coming up with these days? If I have ever heard that, it is rubbish. 

You cannot bring trash to the Thanksgiving party. Your aunt already has a new boyfriend. 

1: Wyzen From Asura’s Wrath

This guy is too big! He’s too big! Even if you lived in the Boeing Everett Factory – which CNET Tell me is the biggest building on Earth, based on volume (3.5 billion gallons) – you still couldn’t fit this guy in your house. 

Wyzen would be too big for you to feed. Wyzen could probably eat the entire Thanksgiving meal prepared by all of the participating homes, with no noticeable difference in his stomach. You could offer a regular human six of the dust mites as a meal. 

Wyzen will be at your Thanksgiving dinner. Wyzen is uneatable and non-feedable so you should remove him from your invitation list. 

So there you have it folks. Was our list correct? Tell us what you think. Which videogame characters would you choose to make a grueling Thanksgiving? Leave a comment to let us know what you think. Thank you for engaging with the story. Please leave a comment. Comment any time. Your comment should be longer than one page. Share this article with a friend. It’s a great idea to bring it up at Thanksgiving with your loved ones. Ask everyone to comment below. Please! PLEASE!