The 25 best losers in video games, ranked

This week, Polygon has been celebrating the winners of the entertainment world — the ones who came, saw, and conquered in a variety of exciting and morally irresponsible matchups. To end this week, however, we would like to draw your attention to those who often go unnoticed: losers.

All pop culture is subject to the same question: “Who would win?” This is why we are dedicating an entire week of debates to those who have had a profound impact on comics, TV and movies. Polygon’s Who Would Win Week will be here.

Who is a loser in a game? What is love between losers in a battle? Why do we gravitate toward them, even though, by definition, they’re constantly doing the very thing we root for them It is not to do? The Polygon team gathered 25 of the worst video game losers to answer those questions. This is a world where losing is often the main thing. Each entry interprets the label a bit differently, prioritizing anything from lovability to the literal frequency of defeat — but they all betray a profound appreciation for the has-beens, afterthoughts, and wannabes of the interactive medium.

Ah, and to Add salt to your woundsWe ranked their achievements to further honor them.

25. Bottles (Banjo-Kazooie, Banjo-Tooie)

Image by Rare

Bottles is the videogame sadsack of all time. He has spent the entire time of Banjo-Kazooie Teaching bird and bear basic moves with a tired, ho-hum tone. And just as the duo has incorporated Bottles into their friend group, inviting him to poker night, he gets zapped to death on Banjo & Kazooie’s lawn at start of the second game. Bottles, who went from being an unheralded tutorial hero to becoming a pile on the ground in just 10 minutes, is now the largest loser. Banjo-KazooieAnd Banjo-Tooie. —Ryan Gilliam

24. Lydia (Skyrim in The Elder Scrolls 5)

Image: Bethesda Game Studios

Your burdens will be carried by her. —Nicole Clark

23. EmilNier, Nier: Automata, Nier Replicant)

Image: Toylogic/Square Enix

He loses everything in the Nier franchise. You can find the In Nier: Replicant, Emil loses his sister to terrible experiments that turn her into a monstrous weapon — and after defeating her, Emil is transformed from a sweet, young boy to a fantastical creature wearing a spherical helmet with a Cheshire Cat grin. These are the events that led up to and after. Nier: Automata In order to defeat a robotic threat, Emil must keep copying himself. Each copy dilutes Emil’s personality further, until he has lost himself completely. He’s one of the most tragic, and beloved, characters in games. —Nicole Clark

22. Waddle Dees, Kirby series

HAL Laboratory via Polygon

Blindly serving King Dedede and being vanilla enemies, they are often considered to be a nuisance. But now that they’ve been kidnapped in Kirby, the Forgotten Land?! They cannot win. —Nicole Clark

21. Dan Hibiki (Street Fighter series)

Capcom Image

Designed as a weak character so anyone who managed to win with him would get bragging rights, Dan was Capcom’s favorite punching bag throughout the mid-’90s. SNK might get a poke, too. —Matt Leone

20. Monkey (Monkey Ball series).

Sega via Famitsu

This poor monkey constantly falls to his death. —Nicole Clark

19. Billy CoenResident Evil Zero)

Capcom Image

The Many There are many Resident Evil characters that could have made it on this list. None of them exhibits the same forced aggression as Billy. This dude makes it difficult for others to love him. I enjoy tattoos and I also like tank tops. —Mike Mahardy

18. Pokey/Porky Minch (Earthbound/Mother series)

Image: HAL Laboratory/Nintendo

EarthboundPokey, while he may have a genuine villain, is actually an absolute heel. Although he appears to be at the right of more powerful bosses than he does, despite never actually being a threat, a complete hassel, Pokey manages to get through every game. His greatest asset is his loser dialog, ending his final letter to you with the iconic “spankety spankety spankety.” —Chelsea Stark

17. Captain ToadTreasure tracker with Captain Toad, Super Mario 3D World)

Nintendo

This Toad is the focus of an entire game. Is he still there? You should be looking for yourself. —Nicole Clark

16. Grunts (Halo series)

Image: 343 Industries/Xbox Game Studios

They’re easy to kill, easy to scare, and in the end, easy to love — the true embodiment of video game cannon fodder (excluding that one grunt that always manages to kill me when I’m hiding to let my shields recharge on Legendary difficulty — that guy is a winner if ever there was one). —Mike Mahardy

15. Peter Dinklage’s Ghost (Destiny)

Bungie Inc. via The Verge

Peter Dinklage’s Ghost existed in Destiny just long enough to get memed on (“That wizard, it came from the moon!”) and become a permanent goof in the community. He was then replaced by Nolan North, a prolific and ubiquitous videogame VO star. Dinklebot was replaced by Nolan North. Capital GGhost to Destiny’s ghost past. —Ryan Gilliam

14. JojaMart (Stardew Valley)

Photo by ConcernedApe via Polygon

Complete the Community Center, and get rid of that evil corporation from Pelican Town. —Nicole Clark

13. Lorenz (Three houses: Fire Emblem)

Image: Intelligent Systems via IGN

Despite his late-game — let’s say, Seems to be slight redemption arc — Lorenz spends much of his time in Three houses: Fire EmblemHe is a creepy visitor to Garreg Mach Monastery and he will also turn his nose up to anyone that he considers below him (aka everyone). —Mike Mahardy

12. Brewster (Animal Crossing)

Image: Nintendo EPD/Nintendo

Waits for his guests in a café alone. He serves his own pigeon-milk to those guests. —Nicole Clark

11. Johnny Sasaki, Metal Gear Solid series

Image: Kojima Productions/Konami

Although he spends most of the Metal Gear Solid games pooping his pants (he’s doing exactly that inside of the fuel drum in the image above), it’s hard not to fall for the endearing soldier who bungles almost every basic task he’s given. —Mike Mahardy

10. Tingle (The Legend of Zelda series spinoffs, Tingle)

Image: Omega Force?Nintendo

Tingle is the legendary misfit of The Legend of Zelda. There are many opinions. His role in The Legend of Zelda is rebuked. The Wind Waker’s fetch quests; he is revered as a champion of all things weird; he is constantly appearing to distract Link from his holy quests. He is not at all what I would call a “winner,” and better yet, he doesn’t seem to care. He also wears those tights like a champ. —Mike Mahardy

9. Alexios (Assassin’s Creed Odyssey)

Image: Ubisoft

Many players chose Alexios over Kassandra. However, Alexios was confirmed later to be the noncanon protagonist. Assassin’s Creed Odyssey. In other words, even Ubisoft, the man’s very creator, didn’t consider him to be the “official” hero of the story. This is a Greek tragedy. —Mike Mahardy

8. Bowser (Mario franchise)

Image: Nintendo

Bowser was once a danger. Bowser was once a large, terrifying dragon-turtle man with an army and strange children/cohorts. He also had a tendency to hang out in lava pits. Bowser is now a softie. He’s out there playing tennis, racing karts, and getting folded up into origami pieces by the “real” villain. Instead of being Mario’s big bad, he’s been downgraded to a goober who usually comes around to help Mario take down an even bigger threat for the good of the Mushroom Kingdom. —Ryan Gilliam

7. Glass Joe! series)

Image: Nintendo

As a boxer, it is a bad sign if your nickname includes the word “Glass.” Or if you’re the first opponent in Punch-Out!! —Pete Volk

6. Rival Trainer (Pokémon series)

Image: Game Freak/Nintendo

A rotating character archetype that exists almost solely to to test players’ progress between tougher, far more exciting gym battles. Even calling a fight with your rival a “test” is being generous. It’s more like a quiz you didn’t study for at all, yet still manage to ace with the bare minimum number of brain cells. —Mike Mahardy

5. Zagreus (Hades)

Image: Supergiant Games

He is not the only one who loses. Lose a lot, then climb out of Hades. —Nicole Clark

4. Samus (Metroid series)

Image: Nintendo

You ever start a game all excited about what you can do, then lose your powers and have to start from scratch to collect them all again, then realize it had to be that way or the game design wouldn’t have been nearly as interesting? We are grateful to Samus. —Matt Leone

3. Waluigi (Mario franchise)

Camelot Software Planning/Nintendo

He is not in Super Smash Bros. but has a huge fanbase that wants him in Super Smash Bros. There were many DLC packs that followed. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate’s launch, this poor fellow still can’t catch a break and join his frenemies. He will always be an assist trophy. —Petrana Radulovic

2. Sega

Image: Sega

Following the back-to-back failures of the Saturn and the Dreamcast, Sega ended its decade-and-a-half run as Nintendo’s favorite rival and a dominant force in video games. The company’s leadership spent a few years dabbling in different areas, but following a merger with Sammy (best known for pachinko), Sega took on a new life. Sonic made an appearance in Mario games. Persona was the top-rated JRPG. Yakuza became a hit in West. And Sonic, well, Sonic’s games aren’t always great, but the character has never been more relevant between comics, TV shows, merch, and a budding movie series. Sega is (second-best) video game loser and serves as a reminder of how historic victories are only possible following a defeat. —Chris Plante

1. Elden Ring, me (Elden Ring)

Image by FromSoftware/Bandai Namco via Polygon

“You Died” has become my rallying cry. This is where I lose. —Nicole Clark