She-Hulk’s post-credit scene confirms Steve Rogers had sex

In the premiere episode, She-Hulk, Attorney at Law — which explores the backstory of how Jennifer Walters got her Hulk powers — Jen has one big, pressing question for her cousin Bruce: Did Captain America die a virgin?!

[Ed. note: This post contains some spoilers for that above question, lmao.]

Image: Marvel Studios

At first, Bruce refuses to outright answer this, and for good reason, since it is an intimate question about his deceased (as far as Jen knows) friend and colleague’s sex life. But the episode’s post-credits scene reveals a drunken Jen rambling about how sad it is that Steve Rogers died without getting some. It’s then, out of pity or perhaps because Jen seems too drunk to remember, that Bruce reveals Jen’s assumption is wrong.

“Steve Rogers is not a virgin,” says Bruce. “He lost his virginity to a girl in 1943 on the USO Tour.”

“YES,” shouts a suddenly sober Jen. “I knew it!”

We have it. Marvel Cinematic Universe Steve Rogers has blasted at least once in the course of his entire life. Hurrah!

Image: Marvel Studios

But this confirmation feels… lacking. The MCU is almost entirely devoid of romance and sex. This, despite the fact that they often do in Hollywood. With very few exceptions, the heroes in the MCU don’t even kiss, let alone get busy in the bedroom. Yes, there are winks and nods to the Casanova characters’ dalliances, but that’s just another way the MCU relies on telling instead of showing. We get to hear about Peter Quill and Tony Stark’s conquests, but God forbid we get anything beyond the incredibly awkward sex scene in Eternals.

Some viewers like to speculate about what might happen between characters because so much of it is up to imagination. And unlike Jen Walters, fans tend to be a little more generous to Steve regarding his sex life, especially since he’s saving the world with a bunch of certified hotties. (I’ll forgive her, since he’s technically a real-life person in her world.) In fact, the two most popular MCU relationships on fanfiction hub Archive of Our Own center around Steve — with best friend and tortured mercenary Bucky Barnes and billionaire playboy philanthropist Tony Stark, in case you were wondering.

Image: Marvel Studios

MCU enthusiasts, you see! DoYou want to meet Captain America? But not some random woman who doesn’t even get a name. The real goal is to create an emotional bond between the characters. A history between the characters. Tension and feelings. The MCU is still a joke machine that flies in the face of genuine relationships and punctuates moments of emotional resonance by making silly remarks. So instead of heartfelt, genuine-feeling relationships, we get other characters telling the audience what’s up with those same sarcastic zingers.

Steve Rogers isn’t a virgin, and that whole joke feels like it’s making fun of fans who are invested in his romantic relationships (not to mention making fun of being a virgin, which just feels like a cheap early-2000s bro comedy dig). It has nothing to do the fact that Captain America’s most loved ships feature male pairings. But, people still love Peggy Carter! It’s the fact that this girl gets no name or backstory or emotional connection. It’s the fact that Jen’s thirst is filtered through some weird value system about sex. It’s the fact that Jen’s curiosity about this question exists just to get built up to a punchline, because haha, isn’t it funny that Captain America fucked? Isn’t it funny in this world of gorgeous people who fight more than they enjoy each other’s company that one of them could’ve possibly had time for sex? Isn’t it funny that people even think about this?

However, people think about these things. People think about this. Not only sex, though that is also true. But romance, emotional camaraderie, and an understanding beyond the ties between coworkers and those who feel obligated to work together to beat a bad guy. The comics these heroes come from have never lacked for romance, but somehow when packaging it up for the multimillion-dollar family-friendly experience that is the MCU, even the most innocent hallmarks of romance — the kissing and stolen glances and fade-to-black heated moments — get lost along the way. And if you’re wondering where they all went, apparently you’re the butt of the joke.