Remembering my dad through the video games we played

My dad, Joseph, was not an emotionally accessible person — a practiced art he learned from his father, a retired Army colonel, and further refined by his own time in the Army. It was difficult for me and my siblings to have a real conversation with him. We could talk to him about our games.

My siblings and I didn’t always agree with each other on things, but video games were a way to find common ground and sometimes even to open up. Even if it meant watching him play. X-WingIf you want to know more about. Sid Meier’s Pirates!That was the time that my dad and myself spent together. It didn’t matter that I barely understood how spreadsheets in Railroad TycoonWorking; Playing this game was still just a tiny window for me to connect with my dad.

As a child, my dad’s love for games and tech piqued my interest in the industry. This led me to choose video gaming as my career as an adult. My dad never took my sister or I on a fishing trip, but had no problem teaching a seven-year-old the basics of DOS.

MPS Labs/MicroProse

I’ll always remember when we were both banging our heads against a specific mission in X-WingThe historical mission for the Y-Wing is 6 (to be precise). After a few failed attempts on my own, my dad saddled up and told me ominously, “Leave the room, and close the door behind you.”

It was only natural that I acted in this way, as I believed I had a serious problem. Not more than 30 mins later, singing came down the stairs. He was just dancing the Ewok Dance from Return of the Jedi. I was speechless as he celebrated our victory over the Galactic Empire.

Image: Totally Games/LucasArts

Everyone gets nostalgic about their favorite games for one reasonYou can also find out more about the next, but for me, the nostalgia is also tied to memories like that one, as well as times I’d wax philosophical with my dad about our favorite games, like Command & Conquer or Age of Empires 2..

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A lot has changed since then. The games industry has changed into something my dad wouldn’t recognize — kind of like me. My parents separated after I went to college. I also came out and we lost almost all communication. I’d get the occasional secondhand info from my siblings, but my dad and I never really got a chance to reconnect or reconcile. A couple of months ago, he passed away.

We’ve missed the opportunity to make amends, but playing the games we shared a long time ago will always remind me of my dad and how he shaped the person I am now. It’s the closest we ever came to true connection back then, and it’s something I’ll continue to hold onto, now that he’s gone.