‘Martin Scorsese’s lost film’ Goncharov (1973), explained

Naples, Italy. After the Soviet Union fell, a man runs through Naples in Italy. The streets are cobblestone and a man is running through them, his hands bloody. A man in America drives an icepick through the eyes and tears of his victim, before collapsing. The face of her closest friend is blown into smoke by a blonde lady wearing fur. The clock ticks, ticks, and ticks until it lets out an echoing sound. They’re out of time. They’ve been out of time since the beginning.

It is Goncharov (1973), the “Martin Scorsese film” that Tumblr users have found themselves obsessed with. The reason you haven’t heard of it before is because the movie doesn’t actually exist. Tumblr users have simply gone in so deep with the inside joke that they’ve created a convincing poster, lore, and tons of reblogs for this fictitious film. It’s a level of enthusiasm that makes the film seem like it’s real (even though it definitely isn’t).

Columbia Pictures

Was Goncharov (1973), what is it?

It’s only the best mafia movie ever made. Tumblr user TheFiresonTheHeight claims that Goncharov (1973) is one of Scorsese’s earlier films, though it never got an official release and was unfortunately snubbed at awards, turning it into a work of lost media. It was actually based on a little-known book trilogy, says user inthefallofasparrow, though Scorsese updated the setting for contemporary times — OK, sorry, my editor is telling me I need to be serious.

GoncharovTumblr users created (1973), a fake Scorsese movie. It all started with a weird label that advertised “The Greatest Mafia Movie Ever Made Martin Scorsese Presents Goncharov” on a pair of knockoff boots owned by a Tumblr user. Although the original post was quite old, it suddenly gained traction over the weekend of November 19. User Beelzeebub created a poster for this nonexistent movie, which listed some main characters and actors — particularly actors that Scorsese has worked with in previous films — and a vague setting. Everyone decided that they wanted to participate in a giant cinematic online LARP.

What is Goncharov’s plot (1973) then?

Goncharov is an ex-owner of a discotheque. He arrives in Naples to get involved with the organized criminal world. Andrey is a banker who he crosses paths with. They have lots of sexual tension, so much that many think they could prevent all their deaths by just having a fling. Meanwhile, his unsatisfied wife, Katya, must come to terms with her father’s death as she becomes entangled with a mysterious woman named Sofia.

There’s also a dude named Ice Pick Joe. With ice picks, he kills. It could also be used as a symbol for mental health problems. There’s also a lot of clock motifs. A Google doc is being created by fans to track the film’s ever-growing legend.

What are people… doing with Goncharov (1973)?

Tumblr is full of people who are enjoying the game. Sometimes this means posting about the fake scenes the way they would post about a real movie or show they’re excited about. Other posts are long meta-analyses of scenes that don’t exist and characters that are not real. You will also find screenshots that are photoshopped to appear like the frames in the movie, aesthetic moodboards, fan art and memes of the characters. People composed the movie’s score. Someone edited RiverdaleSzenes where characters refer to the movie.

Hell, even Lynda Carter — yes, The Lynda Carter — started playing along.

It’s Tumblr at peak Tumblr — users creating the same sort of content they would about a real movie or show, and gushing about it in the same way, only this time the movie is fake and everyone is going along with an inside joke. It’s the “yes, and” of social media platforms, one where the latest meme isn’t just a copy-and-paste format or image, but one that taps into a desire to create and share. Tumblr is all about that.

Why should we care so much about Goncharov (1973).

Here’s the thing: Tumblr latches onto a new weird phenomenon every couple of months and then commits so wholeheartedly to the bit that it completely saturates the platform. Tumblr’s users don’t realize this because they thought Tumblr was dead. But Tumblr has been pretty active this entire time — especially when it comes to inside jokes. A few months back, for instance, several users made the assumption that Pirates of the Caribbean was a gay couple. Everyone just laughed at it.

Universal Pictures

But because of the tumult at Twitter, many people are reactivating their old Tumblr blogs and starting to pay attention to Tumblr’s wonderfully weird and utterly batshit (I say this with love) meme ecosystem for the first time in years. Tumblr jokes do trickle off onto Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram, but usually with more of a buffer period — and by then, Tumblr has moved onto the next strange oddity. This time, however, it happened quickly with Tumblr’s full attention.

Goncharov (1973). Where can I find it?

GoncharovYou can stream (1973) inside of your head. JK — the best way to enjoy GoncharovThe goal of (1973) was to create a Tumblr profile, read some blogs and then let the internet take care of itself. If you’re feeling really inclined, you can try to play along. But don’t worry too much about trying to keep track of all the “lore.” The best way to use Tumblr — or any social media platform for that matter — is to not take things too seriously. Relax and let the mafia movies unfold before you.