Lawn Mowing Simulator’s new expansion gets medieval on your grass

Lawn mowing — I prefer to call it “LARPing Qix” — has its own video game. What about it? Lawn Mowing Simulator In fact, it was launched Aug. 10. You’re crazy to think that I’m writing this article now. Oh, right, yeah, I’m the motorsports guy. So, that’s me. MowTorsports fan, too.

Well, anyway, Lawn Mowing Simulator — which is also available on Xbox Game Pass — has its first premium expansion! As if to answer “What if King Harold had a Cub Cadet?” Skyhook Games is launching the Ancient Britain DLC pack, which means you can now mow some Anglo-Saxon burial mounds and Arthurian glens about a thousand years before modern golf course management began.

“Four ancient heritage sites,” are part of the $8.99 expansion, says Skyhook. They all appear to be made up. You can manicure the Stonehenge-sounding “Royal Stones,” observe the solstice at “Druid’s Tor,” and trim the grounds at “The Ancient Aurochs.”

Near the Ancient Aurochs is “Aurochs Hill,” where landscapers must contend with a steep slope while avoiding a Bronze Age field painting. “Be sure to go slow as any damage caused to this historic site will come with a heavy fine,” says Skyhook Games. Well, maybe it does, but when those Bronze Age peasants hear all 21 horses under the hood of your Toro, I doubt they’ll come runnin’ to collect.

You can now access the DLC for Windows PCs on Steam. The Xbox Series X version will be available on December 2. Great. Just at the right time of the year when I don’t I have to spend Saturday mowing my lawn.

Disclosure: Owen’s neighbor hires a lawn mowing service called “Twins Lawn Care” and its owner actually looks like Walder Frey.