James Bond vs. Tinker Tailor’s Smiley: Naming the greatest British spy

My father was an informer. He didn’t like to talk about it.

It sounds like a joke, but it’s true. He was a British diplomat and worked at MI6, during the Cold War of 1950s. He was an engineer. His expenses would cover his living costs in South Africa, Pakistan and he’d occasionally take his Land Rover to the top of a mountain to intercept Soviet radio transmissions, which he then sent back to London. While he was able to travel and play tennis, it was no work for him and he was not paid much. It was also boring and disorienting. He couldn’t even tell his parents what he was really doing; he barely knew himself. It was a horrible job. He decided to leave the Service and go into industry. Finally, he became a teacher of math and science. In later life, he called MI6 to see if there was any pension due for his service. However, they denied it.

But there were two sets of novels on our bookshelves that caught the eye of 12-year-old me: some James Bond books, by Ian Fleming, and a few works by the great chronicler of the secret world of international intelligence, John Le Carré. My dad wasn’t a great fiction reader — he preferred encyclopedias and radio manuals — but he enjoyed Fleming’s escapism, and praised Le Carré’s realism.

Oli Welsh

Both of them have fascinated me for years, so it is not surprising. Bond needs no introduction: Fleming’s original version of the character, appearing in 14 books between 1953 and 1966, is a suave brute with a “comma of black hair,” a killer, a lover, a globe-trotting adventurer, the archetypal pulp hero with a twist of nastiness. Fleming was the son of a rich politician and decided to make spy fiction during World War II while serving as naval intelligence.

Le Carré, whose father was a con man, also worked for the intelligence services (though his biographical details aren’t always to be trusted). George Smiley was his most famous creation. This unassuming and mournful master spy is constantly coming out to clear up any ungodly mess made by his corrupt leaders. His most famous adventure is 1974’s Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, probably the greatest espionage novel ever, in which he must identify and draw out a traitor in the heart of what Le Carré calls “the Circus.”

Bond and Smiley are hardly comparable, but that’s what makes comparing them interesting. Both represent vastly different views of the spying world and very different representations of British nation-image. That’s why it’s almost a question of national importance to Brits to ask: Who would win if Bond and Smiley faced off?

(I’m mostly going to deal with the characters as they appear in the original books here, but with some consideration given to their screen incarnations too. Warning!

Ten points for Life on Screen

James Bond, one of the greatest-grossing films of all time and the longest-lived with 25 officially recorded entries dating back to over 60 years, is undoubtedly the best-known. The movies were overstated and glamorous with a few wobbly action scenes that have left behind the source books. Bond was played by Sean Connery, an actual screen legend and in 1967’s film Casino RoyaleDavid Niven and such committed, decent actors like Timothy Dalton, Daniel Craig, etc. Roger Moore, Pierce Brosnan and others have also played him.

Smiley’s screen presence is relatively modest, but the actors who have portrayed him are in another class. Alec Guinness, who played Smiley in the BBC TV adaptations of his story, is perhaps most famous. Tinker TailorAnd Smiley’s People, and Gary Oldman took on the role in Tomas Alfredson’s 2011 Tinker Tailor film. James Mason and Denholm Elliott have played the role.

BBC image

One could argue that the BBC’s cold and cerebral programming is unintentional. Tinker TailorWith its hauntingly beautiful Guinness performance it is better than any James Bond movie. You’d be right, but you’d be stretching the point, given the comparative worldwide reach of Bond’s movies. Bond is clearly pleased with this win.

Bond: 10 points
Smiley:Zero points

Ten points for violence

James Bond kills a lot, and does so without much thought. It’s obvious. But what’s notable about the books is how much violence is visited upon him. This man is continuously beaten and pulverized. He’s tortured with graphic details. The Craig has a testicle-whipping scene. Casino RoyaleIf you find this a bit painful, then try the original. Fleming’s relish for these scenes is frankly unhealthy, if not outright self-hating. But Bond’s stoicism is impressive, and the violence visited on him does give the books an intense, cathartic edge the films mostly lack.

Smiley is a gentle man who does not do or experience anything that could be considered violent. We know him as a bookish man, though we are sure he worked in the field. But he isn’t completely without menace. Tinker Tailor gives us the memorable image of Smiley lying in wait for his quarry in a dark room, shoes off, gun in one hand and a piece of string to guide him in the other: “a fat, barefooted spy… deceived in love and impotent in hate.” It’s a deliberately pathetic description, but you know he would use the gun without hesitation if he had to.

Bond is a sadist, and Bond was a good subject.

Bond:20 points
Smiley:Zero points

Romantic Life – Ten Points

Bond must be happy with this win. He may be the world’s most famous lothario, and he leaves heartbroken beauties in his wake wherever he goes. You can measure romance success with notches on a post, yes. Bond even has a whole novel — The Spy Who Lovingly Loved Me, one of the better ones — written from the point of view of one of his fleeting conquests. But if you look deeper into the heart, things get a little more complicated, and frankly, they don’t look great for either of our heroes.

Bond genuinely falls in love once, with Contessa Teresa “Tracy” di Vicenzo, in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. Blofeld later kills Bond, and they wed. That’s the only real happiness Fleming allows him. (In the movies, Daniel Craig’s Bond probably enjoys the richest romantic life, but still spends most of his time either mourning Vesper Lynd, or failing to commit to Madeleine Swann. He finally steps up when he does. You have no choice but to live., things don’t go well for him.)

Image by Eon Productions/United Artists

Smiley married Ann, an aristocratic lady who is far higher than his station. Unfortunately, she’s a serial adulterer who keeps running off with Cuban racing drivers and other James Bond types, not to mention sleeping with his best friend, a Soviet mole. It’s a life of torture and humiliation for George, but he loves her, and in her way, she loves him — she keeps coming back.

It was a hard break for both of them. This is one of the few things on which Fleming and Le Carré agree: the life of a spy isn’t conducive to romantic bliss. Smiley wins narrowly, but he can at least say that he is with someone.

Bond:20 points
Smiley: 10 points

Hobbies – 10 points

Bond loves to gamble and play golf. These interests should make Bond manly, cool, and worldly. Have you ever been able to have a meaningful conversation with someone just wanting to discuss gambling or golf?

Smiley is an intellectual and enjoys living the life of his mind. He collects engravings and “reads deeply among the lesser German poets,” even trying his hand at translating some of them. He has been known to retreat from the worlds of espionage several times and return to academic life. Also, he is a Poirot-style drawingroom sleuth.

In short, they’re both bores, but I will give this one narrowly to Smiley, on the grounds that his interests, while dull, are at least soulful — as opposed to Bond’s, which suggest he’s at best, a shallow himbo, and at worst, a proto-Patrick Bateman psychopath.

Bond:20 points
Smiley:20 points

Grudges: 10 points

For most of his adventures, Bond doesn’t have enough of an inner life — or let his enemies live long enough — to build up a good grudge. This all changes after his marriage to Blofeld. After this tragedy, Bond goes to seed, and it’s more or less by accident that he ends up with a chance to kill Blofeld for what he did, which he summarily does. It’s a decent enough revenge, but it lacks agency or poetry.

Smiley is tormented for at least 20 years by the fact that his Soviet nemesis Karla once stole Smiley’s cigarette lighter while Smiley was interrogating him in a Delhi prison. The lighter was a gift from Ann, and Karla taking it shows that he’s identified Ann as Smiley’s weakness, which he eventually puts to use by instructing a double agent to sleep with her. You can read the rest of this article. Smiley’s People, Smiley learns that Karla has an illegitimate and mentally ill daughter in Switzerland, and he uses this leverage to cruelly blackmail him into defection — for a spymaster a fate worse than death. This means that Smiley win the Cold War but also loses some humanity.

StudioCanal image

Get it now That’s a proper grudge. Easy Smiley win.

Bond:20 points
Smiley:30 points

Ten points on Tradecraft and, you know what, real spying

James Bond is a truly unforgettable character Terrible spy. He travels under his own name most of the time, and even when he doesn’t, his good looks and flashy taste make him extremely noticeable, as does the carnage he tends to leave behind him. In the real or almost-real world of espionage, he would not be an agent at all, he’d be a fixer or an assassin. In Fleming’s words, voiced by Judi Dench’s M at the start of Casino Royale, he’s a “blunt instrument.” In Le Carré’s evocative lexicon, he’d be considered a “scalphunter.” (Did you know Le Carré was responsible for putting the terms “mole” and “honey pot” into general use?)

Smiley is not only a genius of tradecraft, he’s gifted with the most precious asset a spy can have: total anonymity. Even his wife calls him “breathtakingly ordinary.” Give him a plastic bag, a raincoat, and a hat, and he can disappear off the face of the earth. But it’s his penetrating understanding of human nature — half compassionate, half ruthless — that really gives him an edge in unpicking the plots and treacheries of the secret world.

Is it possible that Bond could have established intelligence networks with covert operations in Germany during prewar? What if Bond had turned the Moscow Center’s head into a defector? Smiley tells Karla. There’s no contest here.

Bond:20 points
Smiley:You get 40 points

Politics: 10 Points

What is the point of all this? Bond and Smiley want nothing less than postwar, post-Imperial Britain’s soul.

Bond, a triumphalist fantasyland, is an embodiment of British exceptionalism, hard power, and class. He’s sexier than most, tougher and more powerful than all the others, and has the sole agency in international affairs. America is his partner, the globe his playground. In the films, he drives Aston Martins, but in the books, it’s something even more emblematic of the establishment: a vintage Bentley. Although he’s a liar, he knows when to be right. He is a sexy man.

Smiley does all the dirty work. He lives in a world of regret and realpolitik, mourning the collateral damage of the Cold War, the loss of decency among his peers and political leaders, and what he sees as Britain’s moral decline. He’s a sad patriot and a reluctant warrior.

To define it in Brexit terms — as everything in British cultural life must be defined, post-2016 — Bond is Leave, Smiley is Remain. (Le Carré, a staunch Europhile, made the latter explicit in Smiley’s cameo in his 2017 novelSpies: A Legacy — the setting of which would make Smiley well over 100 years old, but we’ll let it slide.)

I suppose who wins this round depends on your point of view, but I’m not going to pretend I’m not partisan. It’s all Team Smiley.

Final results
Bond: 20
Smiley: 50

Do you really think that Smiley is more valuable than Bond?

My game, my rules: That’s the joy of Who Would Win Week. And also, “yes.” Yes, I am.

Bond will beat Smiley, the desk jockey who is overweight in a fight. It would never happen. In Bond’s world, Smiley is M, or someone like him, giving the orders. In Smiley’s world, Bond is a hapless pawn like Tinker Tailor’s Ricky Tarr or The Spy Who Came from the Cold’s Alec Leamas, to be manipulated and sacrificed, or pumped for information and then discarded. If they were on the same side, Smiley would be the one doing the deal to extract Bond from his latest explosive crisis and clean up whatever mess he’d made. If they weren’t, Smiley would easily sniff him out, entrap him, expose him, and turn him, maybe putting him into play against a bigger fish. He’d do it with compassion for Bond, a damaged weapon wielded by higher powers. But he’d do it with a little cruelty, too, because Bond is a nasty man with a nasty attitude. Smiley couldn’t stand cruelty.