I have one eye and I must scream: A guided tour of Facebook’s Minion meme pages

In the Web3 internet age, Marshall McLuhan’s supposition that “the medium is the message” proves itself to be exponentially true. Platforms on which content is presented are becoming more inextricable to their creation, interpretation, and synthesis. Indeed, most tech giants make it quite plain that, were it up to them, their platforms would be the only message — if the public is to consume, it must do so at the pleasure of The Medium.

Minions are a unique breed of internet shitposting masters. So ubiquitous are our goggled friends, and so synonymous are they with a certain brand of online behavior, that it’s easy to forget the shallow roots from which they grew. In the tumult of the late 2010s, Facebook normie meme groups saw an explosion of Minion memes — a typically softball shareable wherein a Minion (short, yellow, overall-wearing pill-shaped animated characters from the 2010 film Despicable MeThe o) appears alongside an inoffensive bonmot.

“Why Minions?” you weep. First of all, Minions are better than none. Second, good normie memes require a certain visual shorthand — pictures that are Keaton-esque in mood simply play better. The memes are growing as fast today as they were in their glory days because minions, which are basically emojis that have arms, grew so quickly.

Image: Illumination

Minion memes have the potential to go viral. This is all we know. The clash of context of everyone’s favorite banana perverts delivering nuggets of Home Goods wisdom is a delectable combo for the middle-aged and the irony-poisoned alike. So, in celebration, let us embark on a whistle-stop tour of Facebook’s many operational Minion meme pages, and salute all the brave soldiers still fighting (posting) the good fight (the choice to not post).

Our criteria are briefly:

1. There are no private organizations — We will concern ourselves only with content that is allowed to move freely through the Minion meme ecosystem.
2. Facebook pages are the only ones — Pure milk from the Zuck teat, baby!
3. No ironic pages — Beyond the scope of our observation. This is an instruction course in the classics. Postmodernism does not belong here.

Let’s gaze into the abyss, shall we? Below are the top seven Facebook Minion-related meme pages.

We’re off to a rough start.

“Like if you love minions” is one of Facebook’s more populous Minion meme fan pages, and, as such, faces the challenges of any 300,000-plus online community. Recent posts reveal a wall that is dominated by Amazon ads for dishwashers and accessories for Minion lovers. A few passionate souls rage against the dying of the light, studiously commenting “Not about minions” on each post. These people are given bot comments. The few actual Minion memes here are unobjectionable — the overall vibe is resigned, but not angry. The atmosphere is like one in the basement.

Meme quality: 5/10

You can find great deals on many products 10/10

Photo via Facebook

Minion Group, listen up. Between us gals, what’s with all the Grogu memes? To some extent I get it — someone photoshopped a curler wig and coffee cup on Baby Yoda. Perfection, gold, total no-brainer. But Minion Group — and I say this with all the respect in the world — Grogu posts are 40% of your feed. It is statistically way too many Grogu. Grogu. This is just a thought! It might be worthwhile to audit Grogu. You are totally free to do what you like!

Meme quality: 6/10

The Walt Disney Company’s IP was abused in an egregious manner 8/10

Minion Humor Group has many faces: Conservative-lite Boomer pandering and blatant engagement farm on one side, the other. Minion Humor Group is chock-full of word puzzles, “math” problems, and “tag a friend who also used to skip rocks and catch fireflies and were totally fine when the rope swing broke on that fateful Tuesday”-type posts. Tone? It is not uncommon to be disturbed by a large number of individuals who are frustrated with their worlds and sometimes upset with one another. Minion Humor Group’s misanthropes have seen their posting numbers drop a lot over the last few years. Wherever in “Based in Canada” they are now, I hope they’re collecting clicks in peace.

Meme quality: 8/10

Problems with math solved Only 1 out of 100 people succeed in this test, as 3 + 9 = 9, and 4 + 12.), what is—

Photo via Facebook

A bit heavy on the “& more” for my taste.

Meme quality: 4/10

The memes that show how little anyone will remember you once you’re gone:

(Sidebar for more Get mature reader — the Minion Lovers & More mods would like you to know they have created an 18+ version of the page, which they hope you’ll find is more suited to your prurient interests. Our researchers briefly sampled the myriad carnal delights available on “Adult Misfitz 18+ jokes, stories, and memes.” Our researchers DO NOT recommend “Adult Misfitz 18+ jokes, stories, and memes.”)

Photo via Facebook

Minion Quotes is the ideal platonic Minion page. It’s got everything: a strong moderation policy of no politics, no spam, and no friending group members, KYLE. There are lighthearted quips that you can wear PJs throughout the day, and there is a call to actually murder your neighbor. This has what it does. Your grandmother will love these Minion quotes. This one? It’s the one you love more.

Meme quality: 10/10

Frequency of minions holding guns: More than you’d want!

There is little material difference between “Minions family fun” and Minion Quotes. They are almost identical in content. However, the vibe of “Minions family fun” is distinctly, oppressively nihilist. Post upon post insists life is painful and that one should accept the pain. The members are all isolated and agree as a group that it’s best to live alone because you can only fail yourself. And rest assured — you will fail.

Meme quality: 9/10

Peace between nations is called for by these posters:One

Have to admit, not sure what they’re going for here. Although posts are common, actual meme content seems rare. This seems to indicate that mods spend a lot time in promotion of fan projects. It is an abuse of resource. In any case, Minions (Verified) underwhelms, and I’m sure its 32,093,126 fans would agree.

Meme quality: 0/10

Gru is on the Rise: MinionsAvailable in cinemas nationwide on July 1.Yes

One quick note: After enjoying many happy years off Facebook, it was necessary to start a brand new Facebook account in order for me to be able to write the piece. Two, in fact, as one got deactivated for suspicious following behavior (can’t imagine why). This Geocities mess has made it really difficult to navigate. Facebook is an excruciatingly difficult to navigate. It’s a half-dead and pussy-eyed family dog who runs around the Thanksgiving table, begs for food, and tries desperately to get into its owners’ laps. The dog would be dead. Dog wishes it was dead. It would be nice if we were all dead.

And so, a toast to the Facebook Minion meme page community — may your subjects be yellow, and your text posts be droll! Salud!