How to play video games as a parent

I was the only one there, along with The Penitent One and Our Lady Charred Visage. Her health was only half as good, so I did my best to dodge and duck purple laser beams. I You already knewShe would be defeated this time.

Then, my three-week old daughter awoke and began crying.

While I fed her, I ran through my attack plan in my head, trying desperately to keep the sensation of accomplishment and impending victory in my heart. Blasphemous. Within two minutes of getting her to sleep, and then un-pausing the game, my body was dead.

It was a moment of anger and sadness that made me wonder if I should give up gaming altogether.

Did you ever think to yourself that I would like to be better at video games but it wouldn’t ruin my entire life? This week is dedicated to health and video games.

Prior to getting too involved in the details, let me say that I love my little girl. I wouldn’t trade her 6-month-old habits for anything. But parenting can impact your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. I just never thought it would make me question my relationship with video games — a medium that’s been in my life since I was 5 years old.

As a kid, I’d watch my parents scribble away in a notebook while playing Myst. My sister and brother would lose hours in Disney platformers. Jet Set Radio FutureSaturday evenings meant that the whole family could come together to enjoy the Monkey Island series.

After I turned 18, I decided to leave corporate America and explore the world of gaming. Ten years later, I’m pretty peachy working as a PR Manager for Schell Games and writing personal essays when the mood strikes me.

Before my daughter was born, I’d sink 20 hours a week into my indie-centric backlog. My Friday night routine included drinking wine, perusing new releases from the Nintendo Store and Steam (adding more to my backlog). After my daughter was born, I found myself in a spiral of negative thoughts that made it difficult to access the games I wanted as an escape and release. It was a loss for me to lose the boss fight. BlasphemousThis was the moment that I realized the depth of the parenting changes.

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As I tried to play again with games, Hollow KnightThis time, a slew of negative emotions exploded to the surface.

While the baby naps, I need to be doing things like exercising or sleeping. How important is gaming?

She’s probably going to wake up the second I need to really concentrate and get focused. What’s the point of even starting?

It is no longer possible for me to accomplish everything I wish to when I really want it. My life isn’t my own anymore.

My 20/20 vision was correct, and I was leaning towards a mild case of postpartum depression.

Unplanned birth, natural, unmedicated, I was recovering from, functioning without sleep and at the mercy my little nonverbal child. All this, while not having any mental health support. I couldn’t find space for the old me in this new paradigm of parenthood, and it felt selfish to prioritize the things I liked to do over the needs of a newborn.

Although I wasn’t ready to quit gaming, gaming saved me and gave me the opportunity to get back on my feet.

My brother brought his Steam Deck home to my baby girl when she was just a month old. Vampire Survivors. My daughter was able to be watched by him while I checked the hardware. He also helped me break down demonspawn into a 16 bit wrapper.

Playing Vampire Survivors My brother helped me with the upgrade combinations and characters, but I felt like me again. It was enough to make me realize that giving up gaming or anything else that brought me balance and peace wasn’t negotiable. My role as a mother was as crucial as taking care of my children.

Photo: Poncle

Playing games is as easy as this:

My better half comes in and takes the baby to get rid of that irritated look. That’s it.

I opt for mobile/handheld consoles that are easy to boot up when a family member wants to hold the baby, and I’ve also added games that are easy to pick up and put down to my catalog, like Take down the SpireOder Kingdom: New Lands. Although there may come a point when roguelikes or time-based games return in rotation, I needed to change my mind to stop frustration from building up and continue gaming. I’ve also revisited VR titles like Audio TripAnd Synth RidersI love these, they get me going (and helped me lose some babyweight). You can combine the two!

Most importantly, adjusting my approach to gaming has made it easier to adopt a “present, not perfect” motto across the board. Instead of trying to be perfect and always giving up, it is better for me, my wife, and our family to make time for ourselves.

It might take me two months to beat a game that previously took a solid weekend and a few Red Bulls, but it’s OK. It’s not a competition, and the game will still provide the same experience even if I take the scenic route.

My gaming parents, especially my strong gaming mothers, who are trying to juggle a career and parenthood while also trying to figure out self-care, I offer my heartfelt condolences. If gaming is your passion, you can rely on those foundations.