How to get into romance books — and why you should

I have always loved books with kissing in them, but for most of my adulthood I was told these books weren’t worth serious consideration.

I grew up devouring young adult romance, loving writers like Meg Cabot and Sarah Dessen, but lost touch with romance novels as teachers encouraged me to read things they deemed more appropriate and “more challenging.” (A sentiment echoed by other adults in my life.) By my early 20s, I’d fully bought into the idea that only “literary” works merited attention — a gatekeeper phrase that’s difficult to define, and biased toward an unchanging historical library of Western-canon classics. Other than those novels, books with heavy subject matter were highly recommended, which suggests sadness and joy are more important indicators of weight and value.

Many of these classics are my favorites, but I also love reading books. I was tired of social conventions and decided to guard my tastes. I fell in love with romance books again a few years back, and was eager to find the lost ones. My interest was piqued by a local bookstore, The Ripped Bodice — during the bookshop’s third-year anniversary celebration, I spied a line of people wrapping around the block. I hadn’t even known there was a bookstore in my neighborhood, and couldn’t resist joining in. I had no clue about what I was going to buy — what was even happening in romance these days? How was it possible to (re-)start my life? I managed to make contact with some other callers, who were kind enough to offer me many suggestions. I was cheered on by them. The Ripped Bodice was my first stop. I had a stack of books on me and never looked back.

I’m so glad I ran into that line, years ago. Since then, I’ve found stability, comfort, and wonder in curling up with a good romance. They’re a perfect diversion from the endless to-do’s of everyday life, and a space where I can anticipate things will end happily. That’s been especially valuable during the stress of the past two years, when it’s been particularly worth buckling in for a good ride into escapism. Perhaps on this Valentine’s Day you’d like to join me?

Romance: Why romance is important

Photo: Nicole Clark/Polygon

Romance novels prioritize a main character’s well-being, desires, passions, and joys as they seek out love. You might know that romances are known for their “happily ever after” (or as fans of romance put it, HEA) endings. It’s an immense comfort, especially when things are difficult in real life, to know that a main character’s needs will be met. This is what I’ve gotten out of that HEA: the promise that we all deserve romantic companionship, that finding love is possible, desirable, and life-altering. Why should we pretend any of these things aren’t true, or that we don’t want them?

The protagonists of romance novels are largely women — and in a broader entertainment landscape that, until fairly recently, was largely focused on male protagonists, it’s meaningful to dive into worlds where women’s desires are taken seriously. The process of finding love in romance novels requires a lot more reflection. Protagonists must consider not only what their partner needs, but also how they fit into their lives. You need to take into consideration their career choices, where they live and who is close to them. In romance novels, “the search for contentment and happiness is given a lot of importance and weight,” says Leah Koch, co-owner of The Ripped Bodice, that very same romance bookstore in Los Angeles.

Romance can be a very enjoyable genre. It’s a delight to read about couples falling in love. Through reading romance, I’ve swooned over people falling in love in tropical destinations, small cozy towns, pirate ships, floating houses, or even while stuck in an elevator. There are tropes and themes for any reader: I’ve read a queer historical romance starring a printing-press owner and a beekeeper; a contemporary novel about an autistic woman falling in love with an escort; a version of The BachelorWhere the star is more than-sized. One about a PhD Candidat getting an actual, non-spam mail from the princeof a fictional African Country; and several Indian American Jane Austen retellings. This is only the beginning.

Romance has evolved to suit a wider range of audiences. My favorite modern romances focus on how difficult it can be to build meaningful relationships even in a hectic career. Other authors allow characters to navigate past trauma, mental illness, and intergenerational trauma. Even historical romances — where marriage is more explicitly tied to a woman’s livelihood — have explored topics like suffrage and academic pursuits. These events provide readers with a great deal of comfort and stability.

“One of the things that’s really evolved in romance over the past two to three decades is what happily-ever-after looks like,” Koch tells Polygon. “It used to be marriage and a baby. Now, I think it’s more literal: You just have to be happy. That could be deciding to get a dog together, or moving in, or oftentimes, it’s just the verbalization of commitment. Sometimes, it’s a different commitment, because you have romances with ethically non-monogamous couples, and they’re going to be together, but also going to date other people. It’s become so much more expansive.”

What romance novels are best to begin with?

Photo: Nicole Clark/Polygon

All agree that readers who have free time cannot afford to read a recommendation for a book.

If you’ve never read romance before, a good place to start is by considering the types of genres, tropes, or characters you typically prefer, then using those as jumping-off points. You can then start to develop a specific preference for romance.

“We always want to recommend something that’s not totally dissimilar from what you already like to read,” Koch says, noting that readers should feel equally welcome to try something totally different. “But especially if you’re new to the genre, you may want to read something that already appeals to you. So if you’re a history buff, if you like reading a lot of historical fiction, you might go toward historical. If you normally read a lot of fantasy and sci-fi, you’ll want to go toward paranormal fantasy romance. And if you really don’t know, contemporary is always the best place to start, because there’s just less of a knowledge barrier, you’re not trying to frantically look up what ‘the ton’ is.”

As you read more, you may surprise yourself with the scenarios you often return to — and you’ll start to pick up on your tastes, including many of the fun tropes. My experience was filled with the joy of discovering which tropes were most popular and then sharing my findings with others. It’s incredibly subjective. Apparently, I love the “enemies-to-lovers” trope, but only when I feel characters have a legitimate reason for having disliked each other. I typically don’t like when someone’s thorniness is just a fixed part of their personality, which occasionally turns me away from “grumpy-meets-sunshine” tropes.

In addition to simply asking yourself, “What do I like to read in general?” Koch also mentioned making sure to evaluate comfort with how steamy a romance is. “There’s a whole spectrum,” she says. In some books, the characters “never touch each other on the page,” while other books are highly explicit. And of course there’s a ton of middle ground. Romance allows you to explore your inner sex and be sexually ferocious in a secure, private space. Enjoy fantasy worlds where adult characters have learned that magic can be pleasurable and enhance intimacy — or maybe you’re more interested in a cozy revenge-comedy story of two witches falling in love over tea and conspiring. A handsome male nanny is what you want. You could fall for a bisexual ace who is more interested in emotional connection than physical fulfillment.

Most of all, romance is to be enjoyed, and there’s a ton of it out there to try. “We try to remind people this is a really big genre,” Koch says. When you find the books that click with you, it’s well worth the trip. Your favorite books might be the one you find yourself reading again and again.

Here are some resources to get you started

Although it can be daunting to explore a new genre, there are many lists and recommendations that can help you locate your favorite songs.

First, I’d recommend subscribing to your local bookstore’s newsletter, and checking whether they recommend romance. There are also a number of romance-dedicated bookstores with excellent onsite lists or newsletters, including The Ripped Bodice, Meet Cute, and Love’s Sweet Arrow, among others. They’re also worth following on social media, along with romance authors whose works you enjoy.

The romance-blogging scene is also thriving, and these dedicated readers do an excellent job of highlighting what’s coming out. Smart Bitches, Trashy Books’ romance review website, has a bookfinder that lets readers choose books by theme or archetype. The podcast is also available, and it’s great for making recommendations. “WOC In Romance” highlights excellent reads from authors of color. If you spend most of your book discovery on social media, there are many Bookstagrammers and BookTubers worth following. The algorithm may recommend other people if you have followed one.

Publications like Book Riot, Epic Reads, Electric Literature, and Literary Hub — among other book-centric places — do a great job of curating lists of romance recommendations. I’m also a big fan of NPR’s annual “Books We Love,” which has “love stories” as a sortable category. Lots of these places also offer great newsletters — I particularly like BuzzFeed’s books one, which breaks out their romance section. And if you’re searching by trope specifically, Goodreads has lists dedicated to particular tropes, along with lists curated by other users.

There’s also subscription boxes, which bring romance books to your doorstep. The Ripped Bodice has one; and there’s also one called The Bookworm Box, started by popular romance (and other genres) writer Colleen Hoover.

All of it started as a love story between a bookshop owner and a woman. Dear reader, I hope you find this helpful.