How I caught Pokémon Legends: Arceus’ Alpha Rapidash

I confess I’m shaky on Pokémon strategy and lore — I wanted the games growing up, but was never able to get them. So, as an adult, I wasn’t sure where to start, given just how many acclaimed titles exist for Nintendo Switch. I was able to make the most of this occasion. Pokémon Legends: Arceus, with an open world where wild (and also enormous) Pokémon roam, I decided it was time to fully commit. It’s going great.

The early hours of the morning gave me much to think about. There were many new people I met, an underlying dislike for my cool shirt, and a detailed list of elements that would be used. However I had no idea who made for a good team, what attacks were worth investing in, nor did I understand how to swap Pokémon in and out of my team.

But, did know that throwing balls was fun, and that more Pokémon for the Pokédex is better. So, after completing the tutorial I decided to catch some of the cute beaver-guinea pig looking creatures, and no one — except for every NPC who needs to tell me random things — is going to get in my way.

Ich stehe in the world. I am unstoppable. I’m going to catch some freakin’ Pokémon.

However, all that changed after the attack of the fire horse.

While minding my own business in the Horseshoe Plains (OK, technically not — I This was catching Pokémon), an Alpha Rapidash spotted my humble team of six, ranging from level six to level nine. So I panic-threw Buizel. “He spits water, so maybe he’ll survive,” I thought. “This burning horse is going to murder me,” I also thought. Then again, maybe we’ll pull through. We’ve got a good thing going, my team and I — Cyndaquil, Starly, Buizel, and all three Bidoof. Maybe we’ve got this?

One passed-out Buizel, three passed out Bidoof, and one Heavy Poké Ball later, Rapidash was unexpectedly mine. All my heartless sacrifices were well worth it. I’ve never been a Horse Girl but that was the moment when I decided to become a Horse Woman.

Rapidash and me are now best friends. Both of us are mortal enemies. I unleash her all over Jubilife Village, where folks have professed to fear Pokémon; strangely, no one so much as flinches. The little girl whinnies, scratches and inhales as she walks across the ground. She looks threatening — and she is truly large — but only I appear to care.

She ventures out onto the open air. Her work is rewarding and enjoyable. She’s the backbone to our team. A rock-sharking steed and the horse that I own, she is also the horse. (I’m the horse owner.) She was grateful and I put her in her round cage. I took this beautiful horse, wild and free — several feet taller than me — and corralled her into a Heavy Poké Ball. Spirit infiltrated the place she once roamed across the plains. Spirit: Stallion of The CimarronNow, she must face the level four Shinx. Because I say so.

Image: Game Freak/The Pokémon Company via Polygon

Is she still able to hurt me? Although I am not sure, I fear that she will.

She is the team’s workhorse, which I consider her to be. However she won’t comply with me in fights. Evidently, she is still the leader.

Image: Game Freak/The Pokémon Company via Polygon

She will never be replaced. I It will intimidate these smaller, lower level Pokémon. So we could make fun of our enemies, I bought a matching outfit.

That Alpha Rapidash was somehow my catch. All must now cower, me included.