Elden Ring’s bomb-wielding birds are out of control

Elden RingAlthough it was tough, after I defeated Margit the Fell Omen at Stormveil Castle, my confidence level was high. I had done it in under a dozen tries; I was rocking a sweet halberd from the Tree Sentinel, and I felt like I had this whole “FromSoftware game” thing down. My hubris led to an immediate, inevitable fall at the hands of Stormveil’s other enemies. What made it really sting was that my new nemeses weren’t bosses — or even minibosses. Instead, I was constantly blocked by Elden Ring’s tiniest foes, like wolves and birds — and it’s become clear to me these little guys are some of Elden Ring’s toughest enemies.

My first death to Stormveil Castle’s birds was in April 2007. I laughed sensibly, and then jerked my head in dismay. “You certainly got me there,” I told Elden Ring. Second time I looked at him in dismay. Someone — I don’t know who, but I’m not happy about it — made the executive decision to give these large birds Explosive barrelsThey hacked at me from high above. This is not great.

It’s obvious that the game has a cheeky side. I felt pretty happy after finishing the explosive barrels and eating three of my birds. They had just killed me, so I assumed it was only a brief hiccup. I then spotted the distinct glow of gold in barrels. FourthThe bird appears out of the blue and explodes all of my explosives. It disintegrates my Tarnished, which causes me to grumble and tears my clothes.

Image via Polygon: FromSoftware

It is an ongoing pattern. Elden RingIt makes me feel more Wile E. coyote than a legendary hero. The smallest enemy in these games is dogs and birds, which I keep thwarting me. Everybody is asking me for help from the bigger bosses online, and I can see that. They’ll say things like: “Hmm, I’m having a lot of problem with the Forgotten King-Lord of the Star Realms thanks to the poison aura he applied in phase 3,” while I’m stuck here lamenting, “I don’t like it when birds pelt me with explosive barrels.”

This is a remarkable feat considering Margit’s difference in size. Austen Goslin (my colleague) confided to me that he had been swarmed and killed by sixteen wild dogs at level 160. The Lands Between are tough.

While I can be salty right now, the end result is that I truly appreciate FromSoftware making such a great product. EverywhereAny enemy, big or small, is a challenge. There’s a comedic tone that the struggle adds to everything; I can’t take myself or the game too seriously when I see a bird with knives surrounded by bloodstains. The experience continually serves up humble pie, and as a result, I’m always on edge. It’s not fun. No, not necessarily, especially after I’ve lost a whole lot of runes to this silly stuff. But it’s engaging, and every victory tastes so much sweeter as a result. I think I’m on my way to becoming a real legend — just don’t ask about the scorch marks on my armor.