Animal Crossing villagers, please stop visiting my house

Since Animal Crossing – New Horizons’ behemoth update, I’ve been playing up a storm — busy rearranging my island to display new items, cooking dozens of meals, and visiting lots of Kapp’n islands. I’ve been enjoying those swanky new features, which brought me back to the game after about a year of giving up. And I was especially excited for the new feature that allows villagers to visit my house, much like I’ve always visited theirs.

My excitement turned out to be wildly exaggerated. I have some minor grievances, which I’d like to air out here.

Let’s set the scene. You’re quickly sprinting into your home to drop off that surplus hardwood, or a few items you just purchased from Nook’s Cranny — doing a quick inventory pitstop before going to a Kapp’n Island or to the Happy Home ParadiseDLC to help you do your home designing work. Maybe you’re just trying to grab a resource for a DIY to gift a villager in a campsite, or looking to unwind after a long day of racking up those sweet Nook Miles.

You open the door to your home, and boom — immediately, a villager walks in. They’re adorably inspecting the place, checking out your posters (of them, probably), sitting on your pet bed, shitting in your toilets. It’s all fun and games until you realize: Suddenly, you can’t access your home inventory, because redecorating is “impolite” when guests are around. You can drop off or pick up items quickly.

I thought I’d like it when my villagers visited. It turns out I actually passionately hate having uninvited visitors (except for Marshal), which shouldn’t be a surprise, given the way I’d hate it in real life. Play New HorizonsLike a hermite, I’m ready to instruct the children to move off my virtual grass. I don’t have an actual lawn, because I live in an apartment. Despite this, I can probably go outside to touch the grass.

Through my unsociable habits, I have learned that if you hide in another room when a villager visits, they simply ask where you are — and if you don’t answer for long enough, they go away. You can also turn off your Switch upon their visitation, wait an hour, and then log back on, at which point the villager will say they’ve been there “long enough.” Yes. It is true. (Unless you’re Marshal, in which case you can stay.)

To be clear: I am aware of the incredible hypocrisy of this, after a full year of randomly invading my villagers’ homes at whatever odd hours I fancy. There is no way I can defend myself for what I did, and I am not going to learn my lesson. Barge in when I like.

Plus, I know I’m not alone in my feelings.

You’re right! And guess what! wouldn’t careIf I redesign my house while they are there. They’d probably find it extremely cool if an entire sectional exploded out of my pocket in front of their eyes. I would likely be asked to move them. This was an awful example. (Marshal, come visit me.

This game is about interacting and interacting with charming villagers. If we’re getting earnest here — it’s to get a little peace and quiet from ordinary life, which requires working for a living, and tending to human needs like feeding myself, finding acceptable adornments for my skin suit, and the occasional bathing. Do you agree? New HorizonsHave a similar structure of tasks, which can sometimes be burdensome. Although technically yes, my miles are paid for all the things I do. Big serotonin. The math is easy.

Anyway, this one’s for you fellow introverts, hermits, collectors, and to-doers. The 20,000 Bell fee would be paid if there was a LEAVE me ALONE Island Ordinance. Isabelle, I want your money. Villagers, please get outta my house. You are not welcome, Marshal. Why haven’t you visited me yet?)