Rom-com fans need to stop apologizing for what they love

The Book to Film Adaptation Red, White & Royal Blue Prime Video has released the movie, and once again people are publicly embarrassed by their media taste. Across social media, many people are saying they liked the movie, then quickly clarifying that they know it’s dumb, silly, and not serious fare. Many critics have given the movie high marks, but also tried to defend it by saying they knew how silly and dumb the movie was. Red, White & Royal Blue is “not a masterpiece,” or that liking it is “an embarrassing thing to admit.” (I’m not linking those reviews or anybody’s social-media shoutouts here because I don’t want to put any one person under fire.)

You know, I’m a romantic comedy fan. And I refuse to call them guilty pleasures — a phrase that’s overwhelmingly used for stereotypically feminine indulgences, and one we should definitely retire. People offering a thousand caveats as to why they love something is frustrating. Red, White & Royal Blue — a perfectly good romantic comedy! — rankles me. In 2019, when the book came out, it bothered me when people praised it but dismissively referred to it as “like fanfiction.” Now it bothers me every time I see someone gush about the movie on my Instagram feed, while adding that they know it’s corny. Now, however, I will take a stance. It is okay to enjoy a romantic comedies without feeling guilty or making excuses.

Columbia Pictures

Nobody goes in The TrenchThe following are some examples of how to use M3GAN expecting transcendent filmmaking, but they don’t seem to feel the need to apologize for enjoying them, either. Movies can be well-constructed and fun to watch even if they don’t have the gravitas or perceived social significance of Oppenheimer.

It is strange to hear people on social networks apologizing for enjoying a romantic movie. There are many people I know who have watched Red, White & Royal BlueEvery time someone said they loved the show, another two people responded with appreciative comments, while also expressing their self-reproach. What’s the point of that part? You’re allowed to like a movie that isn’t groundbreaking cinema!

It isn’t that romantic comedies should be exempt from criticism. There are certainly bad romantic comedies out there — ones where the main couple just doesn’t have any chemistry, or where the contrived reason they’re kept apart indicates a bigger issue. Some rom-com scenarios haven’t aged well. It’s like criticizing a horror film for being bloody and fantastical or calling it fluffy or unrealistic. The light, bouncy, feel-good elements of a rom-com are what you sign up for when you’re watching one! If that cheesiness bothers you, maybe you’re watching the wrong genre. I don’t like gory horror movies, so I stay away — and I don’t need to apologize for that, either.

Photo: Jeong Park/Searchlight Pictures

It’s true that there are some romantic comedies, which go beyond the usual tropes in the genre to push cinematic boundaries, much like there are also horror movies, action comedies, and slapstick comesdies, that accomplish the same feat. But there’s no inherent shame in liking a romantic comedy that’s just what it promises to be: two people falling in love, experiencing a series of hijinks, and getting a happy ending. That’s what fans seek out these movies hoping for — it’s the literal definition of a rom-com. Calling out a romantic comedy for being a romantic comedy is rude, and honestly, it’s lazy criticism.

Yes, romantic comedies aren’t for everyone, in the same way that raunchy comedies, gory horror movies, and explosive action movies aren’t for everyone. But unlike those other examples, people who don’t like romantic comedies often dismiss the entire genre as if they were speaking for the public good, rather than acknowledging their own personal tastes.

People who aren’t fans of a genre often make the mistake of thinking that every example of that genre is the same, and that there’s no nuance or variation in quality between them. That’s a basic and boring complaint at this point. It’s a much bigger issue when fans feel the need to appeal to non-fans. It is a problem when people confess that they enjoy romantic comedies but then use their love of them as an excuse. This undermines the entire genre. I’ve never seen anyone apologize for liking a horror movie while making it clear that they aren’t an actual horror movie fan. But I’ve seen plenty of people embarrassed to admit they liked a romantic comedy when they were previously ambivalent about the genre.

Walt Disney Studios

The reason for the cloud of apologism around rom-coms isn’t a big secret: Unlike other tropey genre movies, romantic comedies are typically associated with women. In the past, women have been shamed for anything they enjoy. Like pop music, fruity cocktails, and Barbie, anything women tend to gravitate toward eventually gets maligned, held up to an impossible standard, and labeled as a so-called “guilty pleasure.” In reality, you shouldn’t associate guilt with enjoying these things, regardless of gender.

The problem becomes cyclical: When people gush about a movie and apologize in the same breath, that exacerbates other fans’ needless feelings of shame, and suggest they should apologize too. We can stop this vicious cycle. The romantic comedy we love is not cheesy or silly, it’s because the physical and emotional connections between our two leads are so strong.

You can criticize our romantic comedies, without denying that they are romantic comedies. They can be held to higher standards, which are more in line with their particular genre. This is better than judging them based solely on a different type of film. Romantic comedies don’t have to be world-changing, but they should be fulfilling, and their fans should be able to determine what that means without also having to justify why the movies exist in the first place. Next time you find yourself apologizing for enjoying a romantic comedy, take a moment to remember that you and the movies you love deserve better — just like the romantic leads you root for.