What happens if you kill Miriel, the Pope Turtle, in Elden Ring?

If you’re one of the 12 million people who bought Elden RingIn the recent weeks you may have met Miriel (a.k.a. The Pastor of Vows, also known as. Pope Turtle, also known as. An instant addition to The Video Game Character Hall of Fame. You are likely to befriend the kind and rare soul from the Lands Between. However Elden RingThis is FromSoftware’s game. You may also have wondered: “What would happen if the Turtle Pope was killed?”

Learn from others’ mistakes, Reader. Don’t kill the Turtle Pope.

This is what the internet does: We can all see the mistakes of others and document them in detail for morbid curiosity. Indyrael and other YouTubers have captured video of Miriel making turtle soup. Be warned, this video isn’t what I’d call a fun time.

I feel like the written account of the turtle murder has made my heart calcify and the organ is a mess. On Reddit, user VG_Crimson published a horrific moment-to-moment retelling of turtle murder titled “I killed Pope Turtle, so you don’t have to.”

Miriel has a tremendous repository of health and doesn’t appear concerned about the initial blows. The extra-large papa hat makes it impossible for the pair to withdraw into their shells. Despite Miriel’s strength and confidence and kindness, eventually, the health bar can and will reach zero. That’s when the true punishment comes.

Miriel doesn’t curse you, debuff your stats, or even do damage. Miriel weeps. “It’s a sad scream,” writes VG_Crimson, “much higher pitched than you’d expect from one of his size. You gain a couple of turtle neck meats and his bell bearing to buy whatever was available in his shop, but never again will he ask that you learn together.”

FromSoftware games, such as Dark Souls, have a history of rewarding players for breaking its rules or imposing terrifying punishments. But with Miriel, the game’s creators seem to understand that the biggest twist of killing Pope Turtle is for the game to change in no way beyond the absence of his adorable smile.

Lands Between are so isolated that they don’t have many friends. Protect those you do have.