SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake Review – Not Quite A Sweet Victory

SpongeBob SquarePants’ The Cosmic Shake is reminiscent of a classic game, both in good and evil ways. It’s a nostalgic romp through themed levels that feel more inspired than just another platforming tour through Bikini Bottom. This episode does an excellent job of demonstrating why SpongeBob SquarePants was loved by those who grew up watching it, as well as why they still enjoy the show today. At its best, the gameplay is decently fun, but at its worst, it’s mindlessly dull. This, coupled with a few bugs, like one that caused music to disappear completely, or the three hard crashes I experienced, keep this sponge’s latest adventure from going beyond anything more than average.

Bikini Bottom’s Mermaid fortune-teller Kassandra has arrived and gives SpongeBob & Patrick a vial magical bubble soap. It cracks open an underwater multiverse, creating chaos. It’s up to SpongeBob to rescue his friends by visiting various worlds in an effort to restore the city to its former glory. SpongeBob can go on adventures to pirate lands, the wild west and medieval times. This level was one of the highlights from my approximately 10 hours spent with The Cosmic Shake. Purple Lamp has done a fantastic job of recreating SpongeBob’s world in themed biomes. It was also interesting to see how classic characters did in each one. 

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While Mr. Krabs, a money-hungry pirate corsair is Mrs. Puff manages the school of seahorse riding in the wild west. That the show’s actors voice these characters adds a premium touch to every interaction. And perhaps ironically, the best writing in the game is the original work by Purple Lamp, with multiple instances that made me laugh out loud (Patrick’s trademark dead-pan naivete being the standout). Purple Lamp made specific references to SpongeBob SquarePants, and I found myself either annoyed or bored by the writing. It was adorable to hear SpongeBob perform the Krusty Krab Pizza song the first few times. But hearing it again while I am navigating a Hollywood movie set for the 10th time is incredibly frustrating. 

The platforming in The Cosmic Shake starts and ends rudimentary, but I don’t mind it – aimed at children, this level of difficulty feels appropriate. My platforming moves include jumping, gliding, body slams and karatekicking my way to victory over enemies. I do this using a standard jellyfish-catching net swing, SpongeBob’s body slam, or a karate kick. Combat throughout the game is very basic. I don’t fight unless forced to, and I just defeat the people I have to. 

When I’m not fighting against jelly creatures from the multiverse, I’m collecting jelly scattered around each level and within tiki crates, which I use to purchase one of a couple of dozen costumes, or I’m tracking down gold coins, golden spatulas, or some other item. Getting through each level’s main objectives is a breeze – go here, do this, and fight a boss at the end. But side objectives from various Bikini Bottom residents give reason to jump back into each level to collect more, and it’s here I found the most challenge. Although I would like to see more of the challenge, it’s not in the main objective. 

Purple Lamp shows a deep love of SpongeBob SquarePants. There are jokes, deep cuts and characters that remind me of my childhood. And when they weren’t forced or overused, they worked well in the narrative. I especially loved hearing that one fish scream about his love of chocolate, and hearing “My leg!” brought me great joy. If The Cosmic Shake plays at its finest, it is the type of game that I wish my parents had bought me when I was a kid. But when it falters, it’s boring. It’s a game I recommend to fans of SpongeBob SquarePants with ease; for those looking for a great platformer, though, better options lie elsewhere in the sea.