I have questions about Lae’zel’s underwear in Baldur’s Gate 3

The most adorable details of Baldur’s Gate 3 is that each companion’s specific clothing gets its own unique description. This includes their underwear.

These underwear descriptions tend to be funny and accurate. Astarion’s fancy pants hold the description, “Embroidered into the cloth: ‘If you’re reading this, you managed to bed or behead me. Either way, you got lucky.’” Gale’s posit the question that he might have possibly enchanted them (as a Gale romancer, I hope that’s true). Shadowheart’s dark cheeky number reads, “If underwear could brood…” And for the most part, these descriptions pretty much match the visual look of the underwear.

Except for Lae’zel.

Lae’zel is a githyanki Fighter. She is ruthless. Since childhood, she has trained herself to become brutal on the battlefield. As such, her underwear description reads, “Built for function rather than fun.” Fitting! Except…

Here’s the thing. Lae’zel’s underwear isn’t practical. It’s not practical at all. It looks exactly like a BDSM leather number with buckles and harnesses. The straps are framing her cheeks, and she has her entire ass hanging out. It is the furthest thing from function over fun that I’ve ever seen.

Image: Larian Studios via Polygon

Image: Larian Studios via Polygon

Lae’zel is incredibly upfront about her sexual desires (seriously, I had to gently turn her down after she told me she wanted my body carnally), so it would not surprise me if she’s into the whole leather scene. (Maybe that’s where the function comes in.)

But still, that’s not really something you learn about her unless you trigger enough approval and the resulting dialogue for her to come on to you. It is hard to imagine underwear that would be more appropriate when it comes time for you to become a hardened warrior in Faerun and fight against monsters. Imagine all the chafing. How does she keep all the straps in place as she attacks goblins, and how can they stay there? Is the armor able to keep it in place? Does it have a magical enchantment to keep the armor from riding up?

I am not against sexy underwear. I think Shadowheart’s coy cheeky number makes sense. Since I thought it was a perfect fit for her, I found a cute little corset to wear. And I certainly think Lae’zel deserves to live her best life in strappy leather harnesses. But let’s be honest about what we’re calling that ensemble: It’s not function over fun! It’s just fun, with little function!

Who knows? Maybe githyanki society values uncomfortable undergarments because it proves one’s allegiance to Supreme Queen Vlaakith or something. I don’t know. Vlaakith doesn’t seem like the type to value crotch space or breathability. Perhaps the less revealing the underwear the higher devotion. Perhaps each leather strap is a representation of a conquered. Maybe there’s a book somewhere in the githyanki creche detailing the githyanki undergarment rituals.

The good news is you can put any companion character in anyone’s available underwear. Which means you can put beefcake Halsin in Lae’zel’s strappy ensemble. It’s for the science.

Image: Larian Studios via Polygon