Disney Princesses, ranked by how well they’d survive the real world

While princesses only feature in 14 of Disney’s 61 theatrical animated films (and just one of Pixar’s 22), the Disney Princess label has become a worldwide marketing phenomenon, and princess movies often dominate the cultural conversation about Disney animation. That conversation is usually critical — historically, Disney princesses have been derided for everything from setting unrealistic body standards to highlighting uncreative facial design to having a total lack of agency. They’re often dismissed for being held up as a feminine ideal, while still being completely unsatisfying portrayals of women.

This makes us wonder how well Disney Princesses would survive in the real world if they were yanked out of the Disney World, like Giselle did. Enchanted? In the last forty years, Disney has transformed us from damsels who were helpless to heroes without princes fighting their own battles. But does this mean princesses today could flourish in our modern world? There are a variety of results: some Disney Princesses could become business moguls, and others might die on their arrival. So without further ado, let’s find out how every Disney Princess would survive if they got yanked into our world.

There are officially 13 Disney Princesses. But we’d be remiss not to include Frozen’s Anna and Elsa, who only got left out of the Disney Princess”franchise because they’re so incredibly popular that Frozen(Merchandise is a separate universe.)

15) Aurora

Walt Disney Animation Studios

All the Princesses we Get to Know Sleeping Beauty’s Aurora the least — no Disney princess has less screen time. She also has a mere sprinkling of dialogue in the film, which doesn’t exactly let us know what she’s capable of. Mostly, we see that she’s easy to manipulate, and is really good at sleeping. That isn’t exactly a peerless resume, and if it wasn’t for Prince Phillip (and far more significantly, the movie’s real heroes, the fairy godmothers), Aurora might have slept forever. She could only have a promising future if she wrote her own version. This year of rest and relaxation is for me.

Ariel

Walt Disney Animation Studios

You love me? The Little Mermaid. I also adore Ariel, even though she’s periodically annoying about her obsessions. (It’s part of her charm.) But when it comes to surviving harsh realities, she doesn’t stand a chance. The poor thing doesn’t even know what a fork is! In the real world, there wouldn’t be any magic, or any talking crustaceans to save her from certain doom. She seems driven at the beginning of her movie, but it’s hard to trust someone who takes roughly 0.2 seconds of convincing to give up her voice for some guy she’s seen for even less time. That might be manageable if she could read or write, but she can’t do those, either.

Anna (13)

Oh, Anna. Oh, Anna. FrozenThe moment Anna asks if her sister wants to build snowmen, she tugs at your heartstrings. Anna has a great deal of adventures but her isolation from the outside world for so much of her childhood is not helping her. The biggest fault in her is that she’s not a very good listener. Frozen is her staggering gullibility: Tell her something, and she’ll believe it. It almost destroys her sister, and even her kingdom. It’s easy to imagine Anna as a real queen, inadvertently selling her kingdom into slavery and winding up on the guillotine.

If it wasn’t for Frozen II, Anna would rank at the bottom of this ranking because she seems to have finally figured out how to be independent and be able take things into her own hand. But the sequel suggests that Anna’s more capable than it seems, and getting steadily more capable of rising to a challenge on her own.

Snow White

Walt Disney Animation Studios

Snow White seems too sheltered to do especially well in the real world — especially if someone gets jealous of her beauty and tries to off her, because she seems to fall hook, line, and sinker for any imaginable ploy. She’s quite good at getting people (and animals) to do her bidding, though, which is a plus. Her beauty and her innocence fade, but that’s what makes Snow White so attractive. I could see Snow White managing a successful cleaning business, but her complete obsession with finding a prince means she’d throw it all away for just about any chance at love. But at least she’d have a run-in with success, which is more than I could say for some of these princesses.

11) Jasmine

Walt Disney Animation Studios

Sure, Jasmine’s “I don’t want to be a princess” attitude is an encouraging sign of rebellion, but sentiment seems to be as far as it goes. She’s a victim of overwhelming privilege: When she tries to blend in with her people, she has no idea how money works, and just takes whatever she wants. While her apparent passion for trickle-down economics would likely serve her on her quest for power, she doesn’t have the scruples to get to the top, or even the middle. Jasmine even admits she’s never done anything on her own, which isn’t exactly a promising sign. Jasmine would’ve lost her grip on her camera a couple of minutes after starting her film without Aladdin.

10) Elsa

Walt Disney Animation Studios

It might seem like Elsa would have no trouble in the real world — but who is she without her ice powers and water horses? Still, she seems to be beloved while ruling as the queen of Arendelle, thanks to her poise and a knack for diplomacy that means she’d probably be better off than most of her royal sisters. Even more, in the sequel she becomes a queen. Frozen IILearn to accept and embrace all of yourself, leaving fear behind. That said, it seems like leadership is a natural fit for Elsa, so hopefully even in the real world, she could meet her dream prince (or, let’s be real, princess) and ascend the throne.

Belle

Walt Disney Animation Studios

Belle is the product of a time when princesses yearned for freedom, but found it in the opposite. I don’t doubt that Belle has the skill set to be an award-winning author or a marketing whiz, but she has a fatal flaw: her kindness. Being kind is absolutely a noble virtue, but Belle is far too willing to completely sacrifice her own life for her father’s — and in a dog-eat-dog, capitalist world, that attitude would leave her destitute. The whole “falling in love with your captor” thing doesn’t exactly inspire confidence in her survival skills either.

8) Cinderella

Walt Disney Animation Studios

There’s no doubt about it: Cinderella is the most underappreciated princess. She’s frequently thought of as a total pushover, but there’s a lot more to her than meets the eye. Cinderella’s skills are impressive, and she would have been stuck in servitude if not for her fairy godmother. Cinderella can sew and cook at the same time. And she’s so incredibly charming that animals are willing to go out of their way to help her. Cinderella has the charisma and vision to see a brighter future, even if animals aren’t there. Even living under the ruthless heel of Lady Tremaine and her wicked stepsisters, she says, “They can’t order me to stop dreaming.” Her ability to soldier on under a constant wave of nagging and cruelty has her perfectly posed for a successful retail career.

7) Pocahontas

Walt Disney Animation Studios

Pocahontas appears to have all the necessary qualities for her to become a hardworking, self-sufficient member of society. She could thrive as an environmentalist because of her resourcefulness and knowledge of the natural world. She isn’t a pushover either — she holds to her convictions when pressured by her society, a promising sign of success. She is a woman who concentrates on fixing men that are unworthy. While some choices may be considered honest errors, the effort that she devotes to John Smith’s perpetual sleeper raises serious questions about her judgement.

6) Rapunzel

Walt Disney Animation Studios

A person who is capable of turning a kitchen gadget into a real weapon has boundless potential. Rapunzel was raised by a mother who used gaslighting and passive aggression to abuse her. She has since become an independent woman with high skills. Rapunzel may have been a little too trusting for her own sake, but she emerged with surprising talent from her tower. It is encouraging to see her willingness and courage in facing new experiences. Tangled even showed us what Rapunzel’s life would be like without her magical hair, and it was impressive to behold. If she can handle herself in a seedy pub (a real-world test if there ever was one), I have no doubt she’d be just fine in reality.

Merida

Image: Pixar Animation Studios

Merida stands out for a number of reasons: Not only is she the only Pixar character in the Disney Princess lineup, she’s crystal-clear about having no interest whatsoever in romance. Merida is an Olympic archer, which means she has her career planned out. She’d be thrilled to learn that her greatest talent is still relevant in contemporary society (albeit in a particularly niche way), and she could spend her years training at the things she’d love the most. Who knows how high she can soar without any pressure from her parents to find a spouse for her? Merida would all but certainly win Olympic gold for her country — even if nobody could understand anything she was saying.

Moana

Walt Disney Animation Studios

Moana, like many people, battles with self-doubt. However, her panache, determination, and courage more than make up for it. She’s an adventurer at heart, capable of doing the one thing nobody else in her village dared to do: actually leave her island in search of something bigger. Moana is destined for greatness because of her attitude. She doesn’t have to sacrifice any part of who she is to follow her dream, either. Moana is descended directly from voyagers and has an affinity for oceans. As a sailor and navigator she’s quite capable. Failing that, she’s a natural-born athlete, and would join Merida in dominating at the Olympics, likely as a swimmer.

Raya

Walt Disney Animation Studios

Raya and The Last Dragon’s namesake star has plenty of wisdom beyond her years. She’s headstrong and determined to perform a nearly impossible task, finding the mythical last dragon to bring her father back from death, and to bring harmony to the land of Kumandra. In the real world, Raya won’t have the assistance of a super-powerful dragon — but to be fair, she probably wouldn’t have to deal with Druun overrunning her land, either.

Raya has the ability to bring people together from very diverse backgrounds and life styles to accomplish greatness. She’s also a capable fighter. Raya could easily adapt to the MMA world, and her teamwork skills as well as her management abilities would allow her to achieve positions of great power. Raya’s ability to unify a nation is impressive. Why can’t she do the same in a boardroom as well?

Mulan

Walt Disney Animation Studios

Mulan has a lot of impressive qualities. Mulan is incredibly impressive. She disguised herself as a male and infiltrated a Hun army. The Emperor of China praised her for eliminating the Hun leader. She’s a woman of unparalleled courage, and she earns the adoration of an entire nation, not by marrying a prince, but by kicking a whole lot of ass. Plus, Mulan doesn’t get much help from her sidekick — she has to physically force a Fire-breathing DragonTo ignite a cannon. What makes her real-world ready is how hard she’s willing to work for all her gifts, courtesy of an epic training montage and one of Disney’s best songs. Mulan has an excellent moral code, is a strategist who can be counted on, and she’s tough. Mulan’s powers of concealment, secrecy and leadership are what make her a perfect candidate to lead the CIA.

Tiana

Walt Disney Animation Studios

The sky’s the limit for Tiana. She admittedly has an advantage over her fellow princesses — her life in Princess and the Frog comes closest to a real-world setting of anything we’ve seen in a Disney princess movie. Tiana is a perfect example of what the American dream means, which is to overcome obstacles with grit and hard work.

Most princesses sing of their hopes and dreams, but Tiana’s “Almost There” operates in a different register: It isn’t just a wish aimed at a generous higher power, or a hopeful manifestation for her future — it’s a guarantee that she’s going to get what she’s after. When Tiana sings “There ain’t nothing gonna stop me now,” I believe her. We can already see Tiana succeed in Princess and the FrogShe will open the restaurant she has always wanted. After mastering being transformed into a frog, I can’t even fathom the heights she can climb to in a world where she’ll make her own magic.